We have been trying to use a positive parenting approach in our home for quite a while and it seems to be really working out for us! So just what is positive parenting? To put it simply it is offering guidance to keep our children on the right path in a positive way. As with any form of parenting there are ups and downs. Here are some secrets to positive parenting that I have learned and wanted to pass on to you.
Readjusting what you are already doing in a positive way can have great results. For instance you probably already have a time out chair or spot in your home. Time out has such a negative sound to it and can leave your child feeling frustrated and bad. You can switch something that you already use by turning it into a positive parenting approach by renaming it and changing how it is done. You can use a quiet time spot to give your child a few minutes to calm down. The quiet spot is not in their room or away from the whole family, instead it is kept in the same room as you, perhaps your living room. Keep the quiet time spot down to just a few minutes depending on age.
Letting them feel in charge gives you more control in the end. Now this may sound a little hard to believe but giving choices to your child can actually calm down the fighting and you both will get what you want. Let’s say for instance you are at the park and it’s time to go home and you just know your child is going to blow! Try telling him first that it really is time to go. Would he rather go now or in 5 minutes? You are offering him a choice and that is a positive parenting strategy. Now you know you child is going to pick in 5 minutes instead of now. Reconfirm with him/her that 5 minutes sounds great but when that 5 minutes is up it will be time to go and get him/her to agree to that. Staying just 5 more minutes really isn’t that long but it will let him/her know that what they think matters too.
Knowing and understanding the differences is personality is key to positive parenting. Every child has a different personality that requires a different approach to positive parenting. A strong headed child may respond differently to something than an extremely bashful one. If your child is bashful he/she may respond negatively to be called out in front of other adults. You may have better luck by pulling the bashful child to the side and speaking to them in private instead of embarrassing them in front of someone they don’t know. Understanding that no child is the same as another and learning to adapt to that is extremely important in your success.
Trickery is A-OK! Now I have your attention don’t I? Here is where the old saying comes in handy…. “What they don’t know, won’t hurt them”. Now how does that work?? Well let me tell you! Let’s say your child has a problem getting ready for school in the morning. Here is where you insert a little trickery…. challenge them to see if they can get ready before you or not. Make it a BIG deal that you are going to win!! Make sure they understand what “getting ready” really is and start the challenge! You both will be ready a little faster and that is always a plus!
You MUST remember to keep your expectations in check. Now this one is a big one! You must remember at all times that you are dealing with a child and your child has not learned all the skills in life that you have. It takes time to learn every skill and it is your job as a parent to teach them these skills. Remember that you did not learn everything over night will help you to not be over frustrated and a little more patient. This little secret alone helps me cope with things a little better.
Do you have any secrets to positive parenting that have worked well for you?? Please share them with us in the comments below. I can always use a little more help. 🙂
Don’t forget to stop by and read these 4 Tips to Getting your Child to Clean their Room…. that really work!
Also if your feeling a little overwhelmed you might want to hop over and read these 10 Scriptures to Help YOU be a Better Mom.